Colossians 3:12-17

How Can I Put Up With “Difficult People”?

Colossians 3:12-17

June 23, 2013

Part 4 of summer 2013 series on God’s answers to our questions

This summer we are taking some time to look at some of the things that you might find to be problems in your life or some of the things that you might have questions about in your everyday life –– and what God’s answers to these problems and questions might be. If you are like me, and I would think that you are – at least in this respect — your life may be filled with things that might bother you and that might be problems for you – things you might wish you had answers for.  These things can range from how to deal with the economy and the way it affects your daily living – which is what we looked at a few weeks ago — — to how to build trust – which is what we looked at 2 weeks ago  —  to last week’s topic on how you can be a Christian man – to how to deal with emotions such as anger.

The Bible is our guide to living life in God’s ways – and contains God’s answers to our questions in life. Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 that:

^“16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

            So this summer we’re looking at some of the issues and questions you may face in your life – and how God would have you deal with them.

            Today we are going to look at an issue you have had to face from time to time – how to deal with folks that are “difficult” – folks that just seem to rub you the wrong way – folks you might wish you could avoid – but can’t. 

            How can I deal with “difficult people”?

            How can I deal with those people who rub me the wrong way?

            You might wish that you didn’t have to put up them – but you do – so maybe you need to look at God’s word to see how to do it.

You know — much of living the Christian life comes down to how well you get along with other people. Scripture makes it plain that God places tremendous value on unity and created you for relationships with Him and others. Paul stressed unity repeatedly throughout his letters, and in Psalms it says:  

How good it is when brothers live together in unity. (Psalm 133:1)

Notice that it doesn’t say: “How rare it is when people live together in unity”—but it could. The ability to get along with others requires a great deal of effort. Your natural tendency might be to not to get along with some people and to try to avoid those people you  can’t get along with.

             As you go through life you’re going to find that some people simply rub you the wrong way. Some people are just going to be difficult for you to deal with. Maybe they have done something to hurt you – or maybe they continually do things that hurt you – or maybe they don’t do anything specific — but there’s something about them that gets under your skin.

Do me a favor — raise your hand if you never knew a person who rubbed you the wrong way. 

I don’t see any hands raised. 

Mine is not either.

Yea – we all have had times when people rubbed us the wrong way – and have all had to deal with “difficult people”.

We’ve all had people we wanted to look at and say:

“Do I really have to put up with you?”

There are folks you might want to go to God about and pray:

“Lord – are You sure You want me to put up with them?” 

And – believe it or not – –  there will be times when you find that you – even likeable and friendly and jolly you — rub someone else the wrong way – or that you – yes even you – might be a “difficult person” for someone else!

Ok – so you know that God has called you and even created you to live in relationships with Him and others, but you also know  that you have – and will continue to have – “difficult people” in your life that are hard for  you to put up with. Maybe you are even willing to admit that   you might be a “difficult person” for someone else to put up with.

The question is – how can I put up with “difficult people”?

In Colossians 3:12-17 Paul gives some pointers that will help you deal with “difficult people”
First of all, Paul writes that you must be willing to take the high road.

Paul writes in verse 12:

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved…

Paul is reminding you of who we are. 

You are God’s person, dearly loved by Him, and expected to live a holy life.

If you are a Christian, then this is your identity – it is who you are!

This also should determine how you act.

When you relate to other people, you should say to yourself, “I don’t know where this person is spiritually, but I know where I’m supposed to be in my spiritual life, and my attitudes and actions are going to reflect that.”

If others want to stir up trouble at work or create chaos within the church, that’s their choice. You don’t have to try to get even with them by acting the same way they are. You can take the high road.

Some time ago rock music legends Keith Richards – guitarist for the Rolling Stones — and Elton John made the news with public insults of one another. Keith said that Elton John was a “Vegas act” and that his career now consists of “writing songs for dead blondes.” (You might remember that Elton John wrote a memorial song for Marilyn Monroe and that he rewrote it at the death of Princess Diana.) Elton responded to Keith’s remarks by saying, “He’s so pathetic. It’s like a monkey with arthritis trying to go on stage and look young.” What surprises me most about this interchange is that both men participated. Both are extremely famous, extremely successful (by rock music standards), extremely rich, and extremely busy. Yet they each found time to prepare and publicly deliver cheap-shots directed at the other. The result was that they both wound up looking petty and vindictive.

On the other hand, do you remember several years ago when Tiger Woods first won the Master’s Golf Tournament? Afterward Fuzzy Zoeller made a racist comment that – without much effort -– could have been blown into a major controversy.  It would have been bad enough if he had said it in the clubhouse around his friends, but he said it on national TV. A lot of people were upset and Fuzzy himself became the target of some rather vicious talk. Do you remember how Tiger reacted? He simply said, “I know he is a jokester; I have concluded that no personal animosity toward me was intended — we all make mistakes and it is time to move on.” Tiger could have said so much more. He could have gotten even. Instead, he took the high road.

Taking the high road is a lot easier to do when you remember that you’re not perfect either. You’ve made some mistakes yourself. You know what it’s like to need forgiveness. That’s why Paul wrote here in verse 14:

Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

A friend of mine who is a marriage counselor told me about a couple he was seeing who were having problems in their marriage. The husband was fed up with his wife and ready to leave — and he had many well-documented  reasons for wanting to go. As a last-ditch effort to save the marriage, she persuaded him to try one counseling session. During the session the husband gave my friend a list of reasons why he couldn’t go on in the  marriage.  After a few minutes of this, my friend said to him, “So, what is your contribution to the problems in this marriage?” The husband looked at my friend  and said, “My contribution?” “Right” my friend said. “What have you done to make things more difficult for her?” After some thought the husband said, “Well, I’m not very patient.”  My friend said, “Ok. What else?” The husband stared at the ceiling then finally said, “I have a hair-trigger temper and I yell sometimes.” My friend pressed him for more. The wife spoke up and said: “Well, he doesn’t always do what he says he’s going to do.” My friend stopped her and told her that this was the husband’s chance to think about what he had done in the marriage. “Well, she’s right. I’m always promising to take her out on the weekend and I never do.” the husband added. They went through this for several minutes until they had accumulated quite a list of things the husband had done.  My friend finally reviewed the list and said to the husband “And you’re talking about leaving her? I can’t believe she hasn’t left you!” Suddenly, a new element had been added to the mix: humility. The husband realized he had been making his wife as miserable as she had been making him. He went from seeing himself as the victim to seeing himself, to a certain extent, as the perpetrator. From that day on their marriage was different. They began seeing my friend every week and were able to work out their differences. Their marriage was saved when they each began to take the high road, and forgive one another as Christ had forgiven each of them.

That’s what it means to take the high road. Show others the same mercy you have been shown by Christ.

You don’t have to resort to name – calling and hostility with those who don’t agree with you.

You are one of God’s people; let your actions show it.

How can I deal with “difficult people”?

One thing to remember is to take the high road and don’t contribute to the problem.

The second thing you might want to remember when you have to deal with “difficult people” is that your actions are more important than your feelings.

Have you ever been ready to go to work on a winter morning, opened the front door, and been hit by a blast of winter air and realized you won’t make it to work without freezing? What do you do? Your feelings may be telling you to go back to bed and get under the covers to stay warm – and while this may be what you want to do — you probably go back inside the house and grab a sweater or a coat to keep warm and go to work.  Your skin is too sensitive for the cold, so you may have to clothe yourself accordingly. Paul wrote in verse 12:

Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

He used the phrase “clothe yourselves” because sometimes you have to cover your feelings by “putting on” the right behavior. Your feelings may be sending you in one direction emotionally, but you can clothe yourself with attitudes and behavior that move you in the right direction.  Put on compassion…put on kindness…put on gentleness. You may not feel these things, but you can “put them on” and act in these ways. You can’t always control the way you feel, but you can control the way you act. So – act in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 

I read not long ago that you may not be able to change things that happen or occur in your life or some of the people who may be difficult for you to deal with and put up with – but you can change how you react to them or respond to them. React and respond with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 

How can I deal with “difficult people”?

Two things to keep in mind are to take the high road and don’t contribute to the problem – and react in ways that show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  A third thing to remember is to include Christ in every conversation.

You may remember the bracelets with the letters “WWJD”. Thousands of young people and some not so young across the country wore them, them a few years ago.  They served as a powerful reminder to do what Jesus would do. 

WWJD stood  for “What would Jesus do?”  It’s a good question to ask yourself in any situation. Another good question to ask yourself is “What would Jesus say?”

If you’re having a conversation with someone and angry words are about to be exchanged, ask yourself, “What would Jesus say right now?”

We need to make sure our conversations are filled with words that lift people up, instead of tearing them down. Paul wrote in verse 16:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom.

He is saying, “Include Christ in every conversation.”

“What would Jesus say?” is a good question to ask yourself when you find yourself in a “difficult conversation” with someone you find to be a “difficult person”.

 When dealing with “difficult people” – people you would rather not have to deal with – when having to put up with folks you would rather not have to put up with —  take the high road and don’t contribute to the problem – react in ways that show compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience – and keep Christ in every conversation.

There’s a fourth principle that will help you in dealing with “difficult people” – or people you would rather not have to deal with. That is — Pursue personal peace. One key to developing peace in your relationships with others is to develop peace within yourself first. Many times people who constantly stir up tension in relationships with others do it because they have no peace within themselves.  People who have peace in themselves usually have no need to stir things up. In verse 15 Paul wrote:

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.

If you have not personally experienced the peace of God which passes all understanding, then it’s no wonder that your relationships are rocky. You can’t give to someone else what you don’t have.

You know — if people are constantly rubbing you the wrong way – or if there are a lot of folks you would rather not have to deal with — there is a chance that they are not the problem! If other people frequently disappoint you — if  you feel your employees do more things wrong than they do right — if you feel your children get on your nerves all the time — if your spouse just doesn’t live up to your expectations – well maybe, just maybe, the source of the problem can be traced to the fact that you aren’t experiencing the peace of God in your life. I guarantee that once you experience God’s peace, you will lose all interest in conflict, you will lose any desire to be judgmental, you will lose the tendency to be “on edge.” 

Getting along with others – dealing with “difficult people” – dealing with folks you may not really want to deal with — may not always be easy, but it’s possible. It happens when you make an effort for it to happen. Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart, and people will less likely rub you the wrong way – or be the kind of person you don’t want to deal with.

Of course, there will always be people who rub you the wrong way — people you would rather not deal with – people you would rather not put up with. When you have to deal with them – or put up with them – remember to take the high road — remember that your actions are more important than your feelings and you can choose how to react to them — include Christ in every conversation  — and let the peace of Christ rule in your heart.

Remembering these 4 tips can help you deal with “difficult people” – and put up with folks you don’t want to put up with. Amen.

 

Psalm128

Psalm 128

How Can I Be A Christian Man?

Part 3 of God’s answers to your questions series – summer 2013 at Edgewood

June 16 2013

Father’s Day

This summer we are taking some time to look at some of the things that you might find to be problems in your life or some of the things that you might have questions about in your everyday life –– and what God’s answers to these problems and questions might be. If you are like me, and I would think that you are – at least in this respect — your life may be filled with things that might bother you and that might be problems for you – things you might wish you had answers for.  These things can range from how to deal with the economy and the way it affects your daily living – which is what we looked at 2 weeks ago — — to how to build trust – which is what we looked at last week —  to how to deal with “difficult people” to how to deal with emotions such as anger.

I believe that the Bible is our guide to living life in God’s ways – and contains God’s answers to our questions in life. Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 that:

^“16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

            So this summer we’re looking at some of the issues and questions you may face in your life – and how God would have you deal with them.

            Today is Father’s Day – and I thought we’d look at a question that many of us – or at least us Christian men – might struggle with – that being how to be a Christian man – how to be a man – a man of strength and courage – but still be filled with God’s Spirit and living the life God wants us to live.

            Guys – you might be like me – and you might have asked yourself from time to time 

            How can I be a Christian man?

            You know — when I was growing up in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s some of the most visible men and fathers on television were Ozzie Nelson — the easy-going dad on the  TV show The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet – Ward Cleaver on Leave It To Beaver – Danny Williams on Make Room For Daddy – Steve Douglas on My 3 Sons – Andy Taylor on The Andy Griffith Show — and Rob Petry on The Dick Van Dyke Show.  These men – these fathers — were able to take care of their families and solve all the problems in 30 minutes – and Ozzy would even have time for “a little song from Ricky” before the show as over. They were the perfect fathers with the perfect families.  Of course, there was also Ben Cartwright on Bonanza who might have to raise a fist or a gun at times – but it was usually Ben and the boys against the bad guys.

            The image portrayed of what it took to be a father – to be a man — made fatherhood – and even manhood – seem so easy!  Just get up in the morning – put on your coat and tie – go to work – come home at 5 – maybe play ball with the kids – eat supper – listen to what the kids had been up to that day – solve a problem or 2 – read the paper – and go to bed. 

Nothing to it!

            Well – things  have certainly changed, haven’t they?

            Just a few years ago on TV “Ozzy” no longer referred to Ozzy Nelson – but Ozzy Osborne, and to say that Ozzy Osborne is different from Ozzy Nelson is like saying that the Sahara Desert is different from the Atlantic Ocean!  The differences between Ozzy Nelson and Ozzy Osborne are many – but these two can be seen as illustrations of the change in how fathers, and  men in general – are depicted on television. The image of what it means to be a man  – or at least the image that many may have of what it means to be a man – — has changed dramatically over the last 40 – 50years, hasn’t it?   

But – guys – I have good news for you today.  The good news is that you don’t have to follow either Ozzy—Nelson or Osborne—as your role model as you as you strive to discover how to be a man.

How can I be a Christian man?

Well, instead of looking at TV or the media for examples, I believe you – first of all – need to look at the Bible and see what it tells you, because the Bible tells you what you need to do in order to be a good father a Christian father – and a good man – a Christian man.

I believe that there are three roles that every Christian man can play in the – roles that will touch people and make a difference for God’s glory in the lives of those around them.  

The first role you need to play is the role of being a good example – or a better way to say it is to say — a Godly example. .

Actually, ladies, you need to listen up also – because everyone is an example, whether they realize it or not. Whether you use the role of being an example to the best of your ability or not, you are an example to others. Others see what you do and they may be prone to do likewise, so you need to be aware that others are always watching you and will, a lot of times, imitate you.

When I was growing up, people used to tell me:  “You are just like your father.” The older I get and the less hair and more chin I have the more truth there is to that statement! Here’s a truth — a fact of life — others will pick up some of your characteristics and habits. You need to be aware of this and make an effort to strive to be a good example, a Godly example, for them.

In the book of Acts there’s a story about Paul and Silas being thrown into jail.  During the night, an earthquake came and the jail door opened — but they didn’t try to escape. The jailer was so impressed by this that he asked them, “What must I do to be saved?” and Paul said:

Believe on the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with your entire household. (Acts 16: 31)

Paul and Silas were examples to the jailer of the love of God by not escaping when they had the opportunity to escape. They remained and were examples of the love and grace of God to this man who needed to know about God. The jailer then did some things that first-century jailers typically didn’t do for prisoners — he washed their wounds and brought them into his house and fed them. That same night he and his family were baptized. This jailer was saying to his family, “Starting today I will be a follower of Jesus, and it will make a difference in the way I treat others.” He then proved his commitment by living out his example in front of his family. And the result was that he and his entire household rejoiced because they all came to believe in God.

Paul and Silas were strengthened by God to be a Godly example, to the jailer. Because of their example the jailer gave His life to God and committed to being a Godly example to his family, and his family gave their lives to Christ also.

That’s the legacy of committing to be a Godly example in your life.

Joshua in the Old Testament is another example of a man who  was committed to being a Godly example, to others. When he stood before the  people of Israel and declared:

Choose today whom you will serve…As for me and my family, we will serve `the Lord. (Joshua 24:15)

Guys – if you will commit to being a Godly example to others – they will be more apt to follow God than if you don’t.

If you are wondering: “How can I be a Christian man?” one role you need to play in  the world is the role of being a Godly example. 

Another role you might want to consider is that of being a Godly teacher.

Have you ever known someone who was good at something, but wasn’t able to pass that skill on to others?  My Dad was an attorney – and in his firm was an attorney who was an excellent tax attorney.  He was quite skilled at keeping financial records straight and organized. However, his son’s finances were always a mess. His son was frequently broke, frequently late with payments, and frequently overdrawn at the bank. His son once told me:

“As long as I can remember my dad told me I was terrible at managing money — that it burns a hole in my pocket — but he never showed me how to balance a check book, and he never showed me how to make out a budget.”

Isn’t that amazing? I guess the father thought these skills should come naturally to his son, but they didn’t, and his son has struggled with financial problems all of his life because of it.

There are a lot of things in life that people can learn only if you take the time to teach them. If they don’t learn things from you, they might not learn them at all.

King Solomon passed on wisdom to others in the book of Proverbs. It begins…

Listen, my son, to what your father teaches you. What you will learn from them will crown you with grace and clothe you with honor. (Proverbs 1:2,8-9)

To be a Christian man you need to do for others what Solomon and H. Jackson Brown did. You need to make the effort to teach them what they need to know in order to survive in the “real world.” Part of what it means to be a Christian man  is be a Godly teacher. If you know how to do something others need to learn, make an effort to pass it on. Teach them what you know, so that you can bring out the best in them.

How can I be a Christian man?

Take on the role of being a Godly example – and the role of being a Godly teacher.

There’s a third role you need to strive to take on – that of being a Godly coach.

There are a lot of words that can be used to describe the roles of a Christian man – but I really like the word “coach”.  

What does a good coach do? He brings out the best in his players.

Michael Jordan was arguably the best basketball player to ever play the game. In college he played basketball at the University of North Carolina, and his coach was Dean Smith — who was one of the greatest coaches in the history of the sport. Dean Smith was a great basketball coach, but do you think he was a great a great basketball player? He may have been an okay player, but it is not his skill as a player people remember, but his skill as a coach. As a player Smith was certainly no Michael Jordan. And yet, Michael Jordan attributes a great deal of his success to Smith.  Dean Smith didn’t have to be a great basketball player to make great players. He just had to know the game, and know how to bring out the best in his players.

The sign of a great coach is that he produces players who are better at the sport than he’ll ever be. The sign of a great coach is that he empowers his players to do their best.  A great Christian man does the same. He has the attitude that John the Baptist had about Jesus…

He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

Your goal as a Christian man is to empower others to do better than you have — to be more successful than you are —  to be better husbands or wives than you are — to be more holy than you are — to reach more people for Christ than you do — to become greater than you’ll ever become. That’s a Christian man’s goal — to be a Godly coach – to bring out the best in others.

How can I be a Christian man? 

Take on the role of being a Godly example – take on the role of being a Godly teacher, and take on the role being a Godly coach.  

Now – let me warn you – these roles are not easy. They mean doing these things that at times are not easy – they mean watching what we do and say so that others will learn from you  what a Christian is to do and say – they mean standing up for Christian principles so that others can learn what it means to stand up for Christian principles – they mean being honest when it would be just as easy to not be so that others can learn how to be honest – they mean forgiving others so that others can learn from us what it means to be forgiving.  All these roles take courage – but all these roles are what it takes to be Christian men. 

How can I be a Christian man?

You can’t do it by “flying solo” or trying to be “the Lone Ranger”. You need God – but you also need other Christian men. I believe that, more than ever, Christian men need other Christian men to help them along the way. If you want to be a Christian man, you need others for support – to learn from, and to lift you up when you fail – because you will – not one of us is perfect.  I will forever be indebted to my “brothers” – the men at The Barn – a Christian Men’s ministry in Fort Mill,  SC  who picked me up at a very low point in my life and showed me that God had other plans for me that I had not even dreamed of.  We need to build that kind of prayerful, strong, Christian men’s community here for ourselves and for others who can be impacted by it.  

Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem entitled “If” that my Dad read to me over and over again as I was growing up and struggling with what it meant to be a man. Kipling wrote:

 

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream — and not make dreams your master,
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!

Strive to take on the role of being a Godly example. Strive to take on the role of being a Godly teacher.  Strive to take on the role of being a Godly coach. Find guys that you can touch and help and that can touch and help you.  These are some ways you can be a Christian man. Amen.

Galatians 1:11-24

Galatians 1:11-24

“How Can I Trust?”

Part 2 of summer “God’s answers to your questions” series at Edgewood

June 9, 2013

Last week we began looking at some of the things that you might find to be problems in your life or some of the things that you might have questions about in your everyday life –– and what God’s answers to these problems and questions might be. If you are like me, and I would think that you are – at least in this respect — your life may be filled with things that might bother you and that might be problems for you – things you might wish you had answers for.  These things can range from how to deal with the economy and the way it affects your daily living – which is what we looked at last week — to how to be a Christian parent to how to deal with “difficult people” to how to deal with emotions such as anger.

I believe that the Bible is our guide to living life in God’s ways – and contains God’s answers to our questions in life. Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 that:

^“16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

            So this summer we’re looking at some of the issues and questions you may face in your life – and how God would have you deal with them.

One problem we all seem to face is the problem of an eroding sense of trust of other people.  One question that many people have – and you may be one of them – is “who can I trust?”. You might know “in your head” that God created you  to live in loving and trusting relationships with Him and others, but you also are probably aware “in your heart” that sin has marred those relationships, and you might feel that people you can really trust are few and far between. 

“Who can I trust?” might be a question you have a hard time finding answers for. You might be able to count on one hand the people you feel you can really trust.   

Friends – we live in a world where trust is essential – but not common.   It takes time to build true and enduring relationships of trust with others, whether you want them to trust you or you want to trust them. 

Who can I trust? Can I trust you?

How can I trust?

I read about an item that you might get desperate enough to try as you seek out folks you can trust and ways for getting people to trust you. The item is called “Liquid Trust”. A New York City lab claims to have bottled trust. According to their ads:

 “After showering in the morning spray a squirt or two of this odorless Liquid Trust onto your skin, and then the people you meet during day will trust you without knowing why they trust you.”

One satisfied customer testimonial on the ad states:

“My boss is rather distant, but on days I wear Liquid Trust he includes me in conversations and jokes that he doesn’t on days I don’t wear Liquid Trust . . . I get less hassle and sell more product on days I wear it, no lie. And my kids behave better when I wear it also..”

Yes, sir – you can solve all your problems with Trust in a Bottle.

What’s in Liquid Trust?

Allegedly it is the hormone oxcytocin. The makers claim that oxcytocin is the actual scientifically proven elixir of trust and that it’s a naturally occurring human hormone that “plays a significant role in childbirth, breast-feeding and romantic love.”

So — how do you know they’re telling the truth and that their product works?

 Good question, and since it retails for something like $50 a bottle, maybe, just maybe a little old-fashioned skepticism is in order. (1)

No – I don’t think Liquid Trust is the best answer to the questions of “Who can I trust?” – “Can  I trust you?” and “How can I get you to trust me?”

Trust is indeed one of the most important issues you have to deal with. It affects your life as an individual, it affects your life together with your family, and it affects your individual happiness. Surveys indicate that trust for other people and trust for institutions is at an all-time low. You may be able to remember when the journalist and television news anchor Walter Cronkite was often referred to as “The most trusted man in America.” In this day and age, in a culture that is politically, racially, economically, and in countless other ways divided and polarized, trust is not an abundant commodity.

For example, you may have trusted the financial community in the past – figuring, like many others that if you can’t trust your bank, who can you trust, or if you can’t trust Wall Street, what hope is there? And now Forbes magazine has carried an article that suggests that most Americans no longer trust people on Wall Street. Seventy-one percent of those surveyed in a Harris poll said that “most people on Wall Street would be willing to break the law if they believed that they could make a lot of money and get away with it.” Only 26% of respondents believed that Wall Streeters are generally “as honest and moral as other people.” (2)

Who can I trust?

Well, how about the press? No – the trust in the press has gone down in recent years.  A recent Gallup Public Confidence poll revealed that only 29 percent of Americans express a great deal of confidence in newspapers. That’s down from 51 percent in 1959. Television news fared just a little better with 35 percent. Most people believe that even the network that claims that it’s news is “fair and balanced” is neither fair nor balanced.  

What about politicians?

I doubt that I need to cite chapter and verse about how little trust there is in government.

What about scientists?

Even scientists are suspect as the controversy over climate change seems to indicate. Doctors, bankers, or, I hate to say it–even ministers – are not as trusted as they once were.

As we read the book of Acts and the letters Paul wrote, we see that trust was one of the obstacles and issues Paul had to address in his ministry. People were not sure they could trust him. We see in our passage from Galatians 1 that some in the church in Galatia had questions about Paul’s credentials. They challenged his authority as a church leader and raised doubts about the authenticity of his calling – and really with good reason. After all, his background and his past raised reasonable questions in peoples’ minds. The apostles chosen by Jesus before his crucifixion had the advantage of being people who actually walked and talked with Jesus. Paul, on the other hand, had come along and announced his apostleship well after Christ’s death and after his own notorious past as a persecutor of Christians. It was little wonder if some believers wanted to know such things as “Who is this man? Where is he coming from, and why should we trust him?”

Paul confronts these questions head on. He writes in Galatians 1:13:

“For you have heard of my previous way of life in Judaism, how intensely I persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it. I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people and was extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers.”

When you think about it, it is really more amazing that some people in the early church did trust Paul than it is that some didn’t! Particularly, there had to be a lot of resentment over the part Paul played in the martyrdom of Stephen. I mean, think about it — suppose we had somebody show up at our church who was known for his participation in the murder of a dear friend of ours, a highly respected member of our church. Would you ever trust him? Or would you say, “I’ll never trust him. You can’t change human nature.”

It had to be difficult for the early Christians to accept Paul.

It reminds me of a story Rabbi Joseph Telushkin tells on Billy Wilder, the famed Hollywood director who was Jewish. Wilder served with the United States Army Psychological  Warfare Division during World War II. After the war, some Germans wrote Wilder for permission to put on a play depicting the crucifixion of Christ. After investigating the Germans, Wilder discovered that each of them had been either a storm trooper or a member of the Gestapo. So, he responded to their request that he would give them permission to put on the play depicting the crucifixion of Christ – but only if they used real nails. (4) Evidently Billy Wilder wasn’t eager to forgive and forget the sins of the German people.

It took time for Paul to win people’s trust. We might get the idea that once Paul was converted he was accepted almost at once by the entire church and went

sailing merrily off on his missionary journeys. Not true. Listen to his words in Galatians 1:15-20:

 “But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, my immediate response was not to consult any human being. I did not go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went into Arabia. Later I returned to Damascus. Then after three years, I went up to Jerusalem to get acquainted with Cephas and stayed with him fifteen days. I saw none of the other apostles–only James, the Lord’s brother. I assure you before God that what I am writing you is no lie.”

What did Paul do during his time in Arabia and those three years in Damascus?

And why did he go there rather than Jerusalem?

Could it be that these were the only places he was accepted? Maybe this is why his missionary journeys were so extensive. Perhaps he needed to find places where people would not hold his past against him.

That happens in the church sometimes even today. We sometimes have trouble accepting people who have done wrong, even when they are sincerely penitent. As someone has said, “We are the only army that shoots its wounded.” When Paul wrote these words to the church at Galatia, it may have been twenty years after his conversion experience, and there were still people who did not trust him.

There is an interesting study on forgiveness and trust  conducted by the Templeton Foundation in cooperation with the University of Michigan and the National Institute for Mental Health. According to this study, 75% of Americans are “very confident” that they have been forgiven by God for their past offenses. Surprisingly this is true even of those who are not regular church attendees. They don’t have much to do with God otherwise, but they have few doubts about God’s penchant to let bygones be bygones.

“The picture was less bright, however, when it came to interpersonal relations,” says the author of the study.

Only about half of the people claimed that they had completely forgiven others who had wronged them. There is a general feeling that God may forgive, but ordinary folks struggle to forgive and trust others.

“It’s difficult to forgive other people with whom you are angry. It’s even difficult to forgive yourself sometimes. But where forgiveness does take place, the study found a link between forgiveness and better health. The more prone a person is to grant forgiveness and trust others, the less likely he or she will suffer from any stress-related illnesses.” (4)

The New Testament church had the same problem many of us have. We can accept the forgiveness that God offers us, but it’s difficult to apply that same forgiveness and trust to others. And, even if we do say that we forgive those who have hurt or betrayed us, we might vow never to trust them again.

Paul understood this. He is very transparent about his past. He had done wrong in his prior life of persecuting the early church. There was only one way he could ever win back their trust and that was to live a Christ-like life from that day forward.

And he did.

          That is the only way any of us who have done wrong can ever really make things right.

            That’s the only way you can win back people’s trust if you have lost the trust of others.  

Make a new start — with God’s help.

And the only way you can begin trusting others — particularly those who may have hurt you – is to offer them the same forgiveness God has given you. 

Andrew Jackson was the 7th president of the United States He was a shrewd politician and General, and was tough on those who opposed him – either on the battle field or the political arena. They called him “Old Hickory” and in some cases he was ruthless. He was the president who ordered the infamous “Trail of Tears” for the Cherokee Indians. His former ally, the chief of the Cherokees, once said: “I would have killed him myself . . . if I had known what he was going to do to my people.” Andrew Jackson had many enemies, but was devoted to his wife.  When she died, part of Andrew Jackson died with her. They said that he would sit for hours near her grave just to remember her. One day a minister came to visit and Jackson said: “I would like to be baptized and I would like to become a Christian.” The minister said, “Mr. President, there is nothing that would please me more. But in order to be baptized, you will need to repent, to seek forgiveness for your sins, and to forgive those who have sinned against you. Are you willing to do that, Mr. President?” Andrew Jackson said, “I can forgive my enemies in battle, I can forgive my enemies in politics, but I will never forgive those who spoke badly of my wife.” Old Hickory was not willing to bend on this, and that was the way that they left it. Sometime later there was a knock on the minister’s door. It was late at night and it was raining The minister opened the door, and there on the doorstep, soaked from the rain, was Andrew Jackson. In a voice that was barely audible, Jackson said: “I’m ready to forgive.” The minister said, “Excuse me, Mr. President, I’m hard of hearing. What did you say?” And Old Hickory broke down in tears and said: “I forgive them all.” (5)

     Friends, the only way that a person can ever really gain trust is for them to repent of their sins and resolve with God’s help never to make the same mistake again. And the only way to trust others is to forgive them and trust them again.

Paul repented of his old ways and – with God’s help – lived in new ways.  

I love the way our passage from Galatians 1 ends. It reads like this:

“Then I went to Syria and Cilicia. I was personally unknown to the churches of Judea that are in Christ. They only heard the report: ‘The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy.’”

Then he writes, “And they praised God because of me.”

Paul’s life was an open book. Once he had been Saul who had persecuted the

 Church, but now he was Paul who preached the Gospel, and everyone who got to know him could tell that he was not the same man he had been.

This is how you rebuild the bonds of trust.

You learn to forgive those you need to trust, and you repent and become a new person in Christ for those who need to trust you. Amen.

———-

1. Dr. Justin Imel, http://justinimel.com/mark/uncommonscents.html.

2. http://www.forbes.com/2009/03/23/hating-wall-street-intelligent-investing-trust.html.

3. Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, Jewish Humor. Cited in David Bruce, 250 Anecdotes About Religion 

4. http://www.calvincrc.org/sermons/2002/matthew18.html.

5. From a sermon by Rev. John C. Fitzgerald,

https://booneumcevents.org/uploads/Sermon2009_07_12.pdf.

Matthew 7:24-27

Matthew 7:24-27

“Can I Keep My Faith Up When The Economy Goes Down?”

June 2 2013

This summer we are going to look at some of the things that you might find to be problems or that you might have questions about in your everyday life –– and how you can find God’s answers to these problems and questions. If you are like  me,  and I would think that you are – at least in this respect  — your life may be filled with things that might bother you and that might be problems for you – things you might wish you had answers for.  These things can range from how to deal with the economy and the way it affects your daily living to how to be a Christian parent to how to deal with “difficult people” to how to deal with emotions such as anger.

I believe that the Bible is our guide to living life in God’s ways – and contains God’s answers to our questions in life. Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 that:

^“16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

            So this summer we’re going to look at some of the issues and questions you may face in your life – and how God would have you deal with them.

            Let’s start today with an issue that we are all having to face – how to deal with the economy.

I am sure that the economic recession our country is currently in is affecting every one of you – just as it is affecting Sally and me. 

The question is – how does God want you to respond to this economic downturn?

What answer does God have for you as you struggle with too many bills to pay?  Some of you are on a fixed income and others are trying stretch your income as far as you can. It can indeed be depressing.

Here’s the question I want us to look at today:

Can I keep my faith up – even when the economy is down?

Jesus’ words from Matthew 7:24-27 might help you as you try to deal with the economy.

Many times, in hard economic times like these, you show where you put your trust, or what really brings you happiness, and what really brings you joy. Tough times can expose the foundations that you have built their life on, and what really is your source of comfort, happiness, and security.

For many people, the recession has exposed the “sub par materials”, so to speak, that they used in constructing their lives. They may have not been prepared for the fierce economic storms that are now raging in our country – and in their lives. Many people seem depressed — stressed out — and just plain worried.

And – of course — they may have every right to feel the way they feel.

Jesus’ parable we  are considering today would have been one that people would have understood in His day — and it is one that in our day, here in Sanford,  we  can relate to as well. You probably can also. I feel sure that you probably know how tough the economy is and what it means to try to stretch your budget as far as you can.  How are you going to pay for everything – everything you have to pay for – your house if you have a house payment, your cars, gas, food, medical expenses, and everything else we have to pay for – with the economy like it is?

In this parable we are looking at today Jesus talked about two folks building houses, but I think He was not only talking about the homes we might  build with brick, wood, and mortar –I believe He was referring to the foundations on which you build your personal life.  I think that you can use Jesus’ principles here in this parable and learn how to keep your faith “up” – even when the economy goes “down”.  

So – what are some steps to take to help you have a faith that is up when the economy goes down?

The first step is to wise up and start with a solid foundation.

Now, every builder will tell you the most important aspect of building a house is its foundation. The same is true in your life. You have to build your life on God’s foundation.    

Jesus says that the best foundation for your life is the Rock.

What exactly is “the Rock”? 

Throughout the New Testament, the solid Rock is shown to be the testimony and truth of Jesus Christ.

As a matter of fact, in Matthew 16, Jesus has his core group of disciples around Him – and asks them:

 “Who are people saying I am?” because people had all kinds of different ideas. Peter finally answered:

 “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”(Matthew 16:16)

And in Matthew 16:18 Jesus looks at Peter and says:

“on this rock I will build my church.”

“The Rock” is the testimony and truth of Jesus Christ, and living your life by His teachings.  This was the solid foundation on which Jesus built His church and it’s the only foundation for you to build your life on.

To keep your faith up when the economy goes down — in fact, to live the life God wants you to live and find the victory God wants you to have in life all the time —  you have to start with the right foundation – and that foundation is faith in Christ.

You see – if your life is built on a foundation that is not Christ, that is not the Rock — – then what happens when you lose your job — or your retirement income dwindles? What happens when the economy goes down and the storms of life and the things that made you feel good about yourself are washed away? What happens then? These things are storms, and they are real. They will hurt, and they’ll cause some pain. But will they crush you? Should they crush your faith? Not if you have a firm foundation

How can you continue to have faith and trust in God — no matter what the financial insecurities in your life may be – and no matter what storms may hit your life?

First of all – you need to wise up and start with a solid foundation – that foundation being Christ.

Here are some practical ways to get this firm foundation:

1.      Get involved in Church.

If you want the solid foundation of Christ in your life – get involved I Church. Take time for God’s things – reading the Bible – studying with God’s people  — worship – fellowship. Getting involved in a church is your first step in building your foundation on Christ – and your first step to keeping your faith up when the economy goes down.

2. Help each other.

We’re all in this financial crisis together.  Find ways to reach out to each other.  If someone has a need, find a way to meet that need. If you have a need, let us know so we can help you.

3. Help others.

Help those in need. You can do this by donation money (if you have it to donate) or food — or by giving clothes you don’t wear any more to places like CUOC or to our collection of things going out to Oklahoma.  

So – the first step to keeping your faith up when the economy goes down is wise up and start with a solid foundation – that being Christ.

The second step is — you have to build your life with the best materials.

What are the best materials, the best things you can build your life with on the solid rock foundation?

Your relationship with your family is one of these things.  The building materials of integrity and character and trust are other things. Materials of faith,  values, and care, the things that Jesus talked about — are the things you should build your life with – and the things that will withstand any downturn in your personal finances. These are things that money cannot buy –so money – and the economy going down — doesn’t change them.

Start with a solid foundation. Build with the best materials. 

Two steps to keeping your faith up when the economy goes down.

Once the building starts going up  and you’re doing the things that you know you ought to be doing, the third thing is to make sure that you team up with trusted people who can help you build the life that is victorious during a recession – or any other time.

So – the 3^rd step is — team up with God – and God’s people — in building your life. .

You need an outside expert to help you determine what you should be doing and how you should be building your life.  The best outside expert to team up with is God. God will show you exactly what “building codes” – so to speak — you have to follow to have a life that keeps your faith up when the economy goes down – or in any other storm life may have in store for you.  God will show you exactly what you need to do. 

You also need to surround yourself with trusted friends who have gone through faith testing times and have learned how to have faith in God through these times.  That’s another reason to be active in Church – that’s where you find trusted friends who can help you keep your faith up.

So – here are 3 steps to keeping your faith up when the economy goes down –             Wise up and build your life on the foundation of Christ

Use the best materials

Team up with God – and other Christians – who can help you

 

So — I believe that you can use Jesus’ principles – and learn how to keep your  faith “up” when the economy goes “down”.

You can follow Jesus’ principles –

Build your life on the foundation of Christ

Use the best materials

Bring in God and others to inspect what you’re doing

These are some of the ways to be victorious in life – and to keep your faith up when the economy goes down. Amen.